Sizing Troubles
by ihateallmyfriends
Summary: Another Garrus/Shepard oneshot with 50% more alien lust. Visiting earth after the war, the couple checks out the renowned Shepard statue in L.A that made a few tweaks on the commander's body.


Back at it again with another Garrus/Shepard one-shot! If you could comment on it it'd be greatly appreciated!

"Big."

"Definitely."

Visiting the Shepard statues that had suddenly sprouted on random places on earth, the one appearing in sunny L.A had been the biggest yet. Commander Shepard was posed in various different ways with each statue, but this one had concerned her the most.

While being a hero and destroying the Reaper threat and the harvesting of organic life everywhere, good old humanity had managed to change this legacy into something uncomfortable.

Garrus and Shepard had been touring the planet, taking pictures for their photo book of the galaxy . The Turian, of course, had gotten strange looks often, both for the bitter First Contact War, or simply because the alien had managed to nab the hottest piece of ass humanity, or the galaxy for that matter, could offer.

The statue in question was much larger than any others earth had to offer, towering a 50 feet tall Shepard in somewhat of a suggestive pose. Due to the savior of every sentient being everywhere, it would be but expected people would be uncomfortable their lives were save by a woman; yet the statue seemed to make the commander herself feel as though she traveled back to the peak of sexism on earth.

To fit the L.A vibe, that was the only explanation why the creators of the statue would carve the war hero out in a bikini a few sizes too small with her chest and bottom a few sizes too big. Completely out of the ordinary, the creators had even dared to make her lying down, a small pistol in one hand, as though that itself could have gone through and hell and back to destroy the reapers. The only thing seemed to have been done right were the bodies of dead Collectors and Reapers under her over-sexualized body.

While craning their heads up to get the full picture of how Shepard would be remembered, questioning if it had been carved by Batarians trying to take a final jab at the human, Garrus himself could not contain a sense of curiosity.

Ever since getting with his commander, the Turian had an insight upon how history had fucked up so many things. Shepard would either be painted as a hero of many, risking her own life and caring only for others, or being ruthless and doing whatever was necessary to finish the mission, even at the cost of crew members. In reality, she had been just right. Not some glorified war hero praised for generations, yet not someone to look back in class to think "I could've done it better."

Speaking of being just right, after looking at the towering statue of his girlfriend, Garrus had to take a moment to look at her, comparing sizes.

The statue made her breasts and ass even bigger than Lawson's, concerning the alien. Yet at the same time, from spontaneous searches of Shepard in vids and literature, artist portrayals painted Shepard as flat as a board.

No, the real life living Shepard was perfect in the ex C-Secs opinion. Not too small to the point where he couldn t play and fondle with them, yet not to the point where his claws would be overwhelmed. He was only Turian after all, the fact human skin was so soft in general was interesting, yet strangely erotic.

"Havin' fun there, Garrus?" Shepard had noticed the Turian staring for several minutes already, but only now did she realize where he was exactly staring.

Under his breath a brief "Shit" could be heard before Garrus began sputtering an excuse.

"I was just thinking about our time on the Normandy and how...and how much history will remember you differently."

Garrus silently congratulated himself for making such a sly excuse for staring at his girlfriends tits, but actually glancing at Shepards' face it seemed as though she wasn't buying it.

"Sure, Vakarian." Shepard gave her award winning smile again, making goosebumps run down the Turians back. Something about the confidence in her words just couldn t stop him from getting heated, even if it were definitely in the wrong places at the wrong time.

"Go on, I know you re thinking the same thing."

Shepards' statement had luckily been so sudden Garrus problem down under settled almost immediately.

"Uh, well I think it s obvious humans here believe you gather your strength from your breasts." Garrus stammered, shifting his weight to one leg as to maintain his 'relaxed swagger', as Shepard called it.

"So, Shepard," Garrus bit out after a prolonged silence between them. "How does it feel having your face plastered virtually everywhere in the galaxy?"

"I mean, I guess I'm honored," Her voice drifted off, "But off the record I think it's crazy that I have to deal with the bullshit humanity spews out, crap like this makes me want to throw up my lunch."

Garrus let out a laugh. Of course Shepard would feel like this, who wouldn't?

"Don't worry Shepard, if I had things of me nearly as explicit as Jokers magazines, I'd be nervous too."

"Glad we're on the same page."

Turning from the dirty statue, Garrus protectively wrapped his claw around the humans waist, bringing her in close.

"Where to next?"

"I'm thinking, maybe Palaven?"

Shepard closed her eyes. Thank god for this time of peace and relaxation to just screw around the galaxy with the man she loved.

"Hope we don t find a certain Turian with barely any clothes on."

Still very new to writing, any reviews would be very helpful and very much appreciated! Thank you!


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